He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
