I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my being single is dangerous.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
