she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
