Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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