Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
