I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
