is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
