I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
