i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
