I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
