Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
