I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
