He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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