fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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