Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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