i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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