Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So. Much. Porn.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize