Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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