I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
