I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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