we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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