will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
