and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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