Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize