Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I don't want my vagina anymore.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
