Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
it hurts more in the daytime
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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