I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
