Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
