The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
