Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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