that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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