Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
