he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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