from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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