no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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