That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My bed smells like the plague
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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