This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
