nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
