In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
