How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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