how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
