I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
