did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize