I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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