she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Someone shattered a urinal.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
