If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
