Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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