I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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