I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
