White coat. Heels.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
