Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
