Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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