My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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