I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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