Nicole vs. Life
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
