I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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