Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize