She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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